| "Pace Egg Play" (1984) |
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Traditional Text Arranged By S.Cunio & Red Stags Morris |
| All |
| Enter (Singing) |
| Here's one, two, three jolly boys all in one mind We've come a pace egging and we hope you'll prove kind We hope you'll prove kind with your eggs and strong beer And we'll come no more nigh you until the next year |
| King George steps forward |
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The first to come in is Lord Nelson you see With a bunch of blue ribbons dire down at his knee and a star on his breast that like silver does shine and we hope he remembers it's pace egging time |
| Bold Slasher steps forward |
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The next to come in, it is Lord Collingwood He fought with Lord Nelson and he shed his blood He's come from the sea, old England to view and he's come a pace egging with the whole of his crew |
| Jack Finney steps forward |
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The next that you see is a Jolly Jack Tar who fought with Lord Nelson during the last war he's lately returned, come home from the sea and he's come a pace egging with you and with me |
| Toss Pot steps forward |
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The next to come in is old Toss Pot you'll see He's a valiant old fellow in every degree He's a valiant old man and he wears a pig tail and his only delight is in drinking strong ale |
| Toss Pott |
| (Speaking) |
|
In come I who aint been yet with my big head and my little wit Tho' me head be large and me wit be small I think I'm the best man of all |
| All |
| (Singing) |
| The King of Egypt steps forward |
|
The next that comes in is old Paddy from York with his sickle and bundle he's come to seek work but work is so scarce it's compelled him to beg and he's come along with us to seek a pace egg. |
| Molly Masket steps forward |
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The next that comes in is old Mally Brown Bags She's so careful of money she goes in old rags she's gold and she's silver and copper in store And she's come a pace egging and hopes to get more |
| Molly Masket |
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In come I, old Molly Masket Under me arm I carries me basket In me basket I carries me eggs In me pocket I drops me brass and I think meself a jolly old lass |
| All |
| (Singing) |
| Black Prince steps forward |
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The next to come in is a bold Turkish knight from a far distant country he's come for to fight He'll meet with King George and will fight with him here To show him a hero knows nothing to fear. |
| Molly Masket |
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Room, room, brave gallants, give us room to sport for to this room we're wishful to resort Resort and to repeat our merry rhume Good sirs, remember it's pace egging time The time to go out pace egging doth once again appear So we come to act our play before you good folks here Now that you hear the trumpet sound and here us beat the drum Make room, make room brave gentlemen and let our actors come |
| All |
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We are the merry actors that travel throught the street We are the merry actors that fight for our meat We are the merry actors that fight this pleasant play so stir up the fire and strike a light - Step in King George and clear the way. |
| King George |
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I am King George of England, that noble champion bold Who with my hands and sword did with three crowns of gold 'Twas I that fought the fiery dragon and brought him to the slaughter And by these means I did win the King of Egypt's daughter I've travelled all the world around and around But a man to equal me never have found Show me the man that dare before me stand |
| Black Prince |
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I am Black Prince of Paradise, from Afric's land I came On purpose to fight King George upon this very plain Of black Morocco I am king, of fiery reknown And with my sword I soon shall fetch thy lofty courage down |
| King George |
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Stand back, though black Morocco dog, or by my sword thou'll die I'll cut thy body in four parts and make thy buttons fly |
| Black Prince |
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Thou braggart and thou boasting man, that is not in thy power For I'll cut thee into slashes in less than half an hour |
| King George |
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Oh, slashing man! Oh, slashing man! Don't tell so many lies For I'll cut thee into slashes as small as any flies And send the back across the sea to make into mince pies Mince pies hot, mince pies cold, I'll send thee to Black Sambo before thou art three days old Stand back thou black Morocco dog, and let no more be said For if I draw my glittering sword, I'll surely break thy head |
| Black Prince |
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How cans't thou break my head when my head is made of brass and my body made of steel? My hands and feet are knuckle bones, I'll challenge thee to feel |
| King George |
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So! So! Bold Moor, neither boast nor stand But quickly draw and take thy sword in hand Let either one or both of us be slain Before we end and sheath our swords again. |
| They fight. Black Prince is killed |
| Black Prince |
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I am a bold and valiant knight, from Afric's land I came Full many battles have I fought and always won the same But from King George I have received this bloody wound today Hark! Hark! The silver trumpets sound, I can no longer stay |
| Bold Slasher |
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In comes I, the noble soldier, Bold Slasher is my name with sword so long and armour bright, I'm sure to win the game I'll fight King George, that man of courage bold and if his blood be everso hot I'll quickly fetch it cold |
| King George |
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So battle to battle you and I will call to see who on this ground will fall |
| Bold Slasher |
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So battle to battle you and I will cry to see who on this ground will lie So mind your eyes and guard your blows likewise your full and great big nose |
| They fight. Bold Slasher is killed |
| Bold Slasher |
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To avenge my brother's deadly wound form Afric's land I came but bold King George has treated me the same I lie upon the ground, my life it ebbs away Hark! Hark! The silver trumpets sound, I can no longer stay |
| King of Egypt |
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I am the King of Egypt. To seek my sons I came to find them lying hear, dead upon the plain Who is the man who did them slay, their precious blood did spill? Who is it that upon this ground my dearest sons did kill? O George! O George! What hast thou done? Thou's gone and slain my only sons Is there a doctor to be found can cure these men lying a bleeding on the ground |
| Toss Pot |
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Yes, there is a doctor to be found who can cure these men who lie upon the bleeding... ...upon the ground, bleeding. |
| Molly Masket |
| What can you cure, doctor? |
| Toss Pot |
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I can cure the itch, the stitch, the palsy and the gout The pains within and the pains without Show me a woman of eight score and ten Her nose and chin as long as a broom and I'll make her as pretty as that girl over there |
| Molly Masket |
| How did you learn these fine miraculous cures? |
| Toss Pot |
| By my travels |
| Molly Masket |
| Where have you travelled? |
| Toss Pott |
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I've been to Italy, Spitaly, France and Spain All round England and back to good old ----- again |
| Molly Masket |
| What is your fee, Doctor? |
| Toss Pott |
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Twenty pounds is my fee, but from a poor old couple like you... Twenty guineas Hold my horse, Jack Finney. |
| Jack Finney |
| Will he bite? |
| Toss Pott |
| No! |
| Jack Finney |
| Will he kick? |
| Toss Pott |
| No! |
| Jack Finney |
| Hold him yourself then! |
| Toss Pott |
| What's that you saucy young rascal? |
| Jack Finney |
| Oh! I hold him, Sir |
| Toss Pott |
| Bring my bag, Jack. |
| Jack Finney |
| Fetch it yourself! |
| Toss Pott |
| What's that you saucy young rascal? |
| Jack Finney |
| Oh! I fetch it, Sir |
| Toss Pott |
| What'd you throw it down for? |
| Jack Finney |
| For you to pick it up sir |
| Toss Pott |
| What's that you saucy young rascal? |
| Jack Finney |
| Oh! for me to pick it up sir |
| Toss Pott |
| We'll have to operate. |
| Toss Pot operates with no success |
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I know, I have a little bottle called Elecampaine My grandmammy sent me all the way from Spain Two drops of this will have them back to life again A drop to the head and a drop to the heart Rise up bold fellows and play your part |
| Black Prince and Bold Slasher |
| Oh! My back! |
| Toss Pot |
| What is wrong with your back? |
| Black Prince and Bold Slasher |
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Our backs are bound, our swords are sound We'll have King George another round |
| Toss Pot |
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Stop! Stop those swords without delay And fight it out another day |
| All |
| (Singing) |
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Come ladies and gentlemen that sit by the fire Put your hands in your pockets and give us our desire Put your hands in your pockets and treat us all right If you give nowt, we'll take nowt, farewell and goodnight We're one, two, three jolly lads, all in one line We've come a pace-egging and we hope you'll prove kind We hope you'll prove kind with your eggs and strong beer And we'll come no more nigh you until the next year. |
T H E E N D |
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Notes This play was performed three times on the Red Stag's narrow boat holiday in 1984. The first time was in Whally Bridge, then it had two performances in Middlewich on the Friday evening and Saturday lunchtime at the end of the week. One regret I have always had is that there was an Irishman in the bar at the last performance who knew a mummers play (He'd got a longer doctor's boast) and I didn't talk to him about it. The cast was, as far as I can remember it, Molly Masket - Mike Moore King George - Mike Copper Bold Slasher - Mel Black Prince - Christina Cook (now Pritchard) King of Egypt - Clare Wilcox (now Moore) Toss Pot - Steve Cunio Jack Finney - Andy Anderson Play text traditional, arranged Steve Cunio and Red Stags Morris, copyright ©1984. Additional notes copyright © Steve Cunio, 2002. |